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Deric Spoils The Movie Idlewild (2006) Buy the soundtrack…forget the movie.

By Deric Kempsell

By Deric Kempsell

Idlewild (2006) Buy the soundtrack…forget the movie. The ONLY thing you need to know about Idlewild is this…it sucks. Good God. Looking back at the movies I’ve seen and reviewed since I began writing this column I’ve been hard pressed to find a movie as bizarre, awkward, or just plain weird as this one. And to be frank…I’m being nice here. Andre “Andre 3000” Benjamin and Antwan “Big Boi” Patton star as Percival and Rooster; two childhood friends who grew up together. Always the shy one, Percival has long been dominated by his mortician father as well as by the outgoing Rooster, often retreating to his attic to practice the piano. Set in the South during Prohibition, Rooster makes his money by running liquor, performing, and helping to manage a local nightclub. Meanwhile, shy of the spotlight, Percival flounders. The mobbed up owner of the nightclub is tired of business and looking to sell. When he is killed by his underling, Rooster finds himself suddenly managing the club and having to come up with money to pay off the former owners’ debts. A famous singer known as Angel Davenport arrives to save the day and pack the club with her immense talent. One catch: the young lady who arrives isn’t really Angel Davenport – a fanciful case of sock-puppetry is afoot! Percival falls for Sally B. Shelly (the fake Ms. Davenport) and agrees to run away to Chicago with her. Rooster settles his debts with the mob but infuriates the boss. In the brawl that ensues, Percival’s love takes a bullet and tragically dies. Stopped just short of suicide, Percival heads off to Chicago on his own to ‘make it big’ in the Harlem music scene. Idlewild feels like a series of music videos strung together with a weak plot, which makes sense since it’s directed by Bryan Barber (the man who is responsible for most of their better music videos). I took a date to this film and cannot recommend the experience to anyone. Sex scenes and nudity abound – Big Boi and cunnilingus anyone? And just wait until the scene where Andre serenades the corpse of his departed beauty. Creepy. There were maybe 10 other people in the theater at the time we were and you couldn’t help but overhear the ridiculous giggles and smirky comments every time something weird happened in the film (which was quite too often). You too as you exit the theater will “coughworstmovieevercough” just loud enough so everyone else can hear it. That is if you survive the TWO HOURS AND 20 MINUTES that is this film. Maybe Idlewild is just a funky film version of what we’ve come to expect from Outkast over the years, full of their unique style and flavor. Or maybe it just sucks. Either way you can’t say I didn’t warn you. Idlewild (2006) starring Andre “Andre 3000” Benjamin, Antwan “Big Boi” Patton, Faizon Love, Paula Jai Parker, and Paula Patton is directed by Bryan Barber and rated R for violence, sexuality, nudity and language. Also Playing This Week: Accepted √ Synopsis: University rejects decide to create their own school. Verdict: Is this how W. got his honorary doctorate in Poli Sci? Oh, wait… Barnyard: The Original Party Animals √ Synopsis: Farm animals talk when people aren’t around! Verdict: And we talk about you when you aren’t around! Beerfest √ Synopsis: Two American brothers compete in secret, underground beer Olympics. Verdict: S.C. Beer Olympics coming soon…stay tuned! How to Eat Fried Worms X Synopsis: Based on the children’s book – guess what it’s about?? Verdict: Unfortunately, I couldn’t stomach this movie either… Invincible √ Synopsis: A 30-year-old nobody makes it into the NFL. Verdict: The only football movie I will endorse for the rest of the year. And even that’s pushing it. 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