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College Football predictions by Mike Serge

(Record this season 11-3 )

TROY AT ARKANSAS STATE Arkansas State favored by 4.5

Let me explain about the importance of taking games off the radar. By radar, I mean games that have little or no impact on the BCS rankings or teams outside the traditional powerhouse conferences (the SEC, Big Ten, ACC, and so forth). It is virtually impossible for Vegas to get the betting line right for every college football game on Saturday.

You may not realize it but these lines that come out of Vegas are hashed out by guys paid by the casinos to come up with lines they feel will benefit the casino. Ever seen that line on a game that jumps out at you right away? That’s Vegas doing their job. They want you to act on impulse and throw down money on what they made you think is the lock of the week.

Here’s my point, with games like Troy vs. Arkansas Sate you’re probably thinking, “Who cares?” and “Who in the hell are these teams?” Well, Vegas feels the same way. They are going to spend a lot more time on games like Penn State vs. Ohio Sate, South Carolina vs. Tennessee and so on.

Then again if you’re a gamblin’ man like myself you love betting on those games. I plan to take Troy minus the points against Ark St. Troy is a tough team with some quality wins against some meaningful opponents. Troy will win this game easily. Make this your big wager this week and remember to always look for games off the radar. Heed this advice it will save you from donating plasma to keep your landlord off your back. OHIO STATE AT PENN STATE Point Spread: Ohio State favored by 4

Looks like Penn State quarterback Anthony Morrelli has returned the pumpkin he was using for a head back to the pumpkin patch. Penn State has been rolling. Now that their quarterback play has been sured up, this game has upset written all over it.

Ohio State is just not that good of a team. They have not played anybody.

They have played every team in Ohio except for the only other decent team in the state, Cincinnati. I have never been too fond of their mascot either, which resembles a throbbing testicle with feet. Although I will admit that Penn State’s mascot looks like a creature that you might stumble across in a dumpster in Chernobyl as opposed to a Nittany Lion. Penn State will win the game outright.

I won’t go crazy on this game, but will make it worth my while. I will not be able to watch most of this game because I will be boozing it up around a table at Yamato’s. Side bet for this weekend: which one of my friends lands on the grill and sears his face while trying to catch shrimp in his mouth.

SOUTH FLORIDA AT CONNECTICUT South Florida favored by 4.5

Okay, being a football purist, I was happy to see South Florida lose to Rutgers. They are a good team but they are not a top five team. That being said, they’ll beat the hell out of Connecticut this weekend. South Florida is the best team in the Big East.

Even though Connecticut is having a good season, they are still no match for the South Florida Bulls. Take South Florida big. How about a parlay this week? I think I’ll take these teams in a three-way parlay. I think it will happen.

And now time for part two of a an ongoing cautionary tale entitled “The Demise of a Human Being.” This is the next installment of my answering machine transcript (my lifelong friend and runner for my ex bookie ripped me off for $6,000). In this installment, he is still playing possum: “I think they’re charging me with racketeering. My parents had no idea that I was gambling. I had been lying to them for the last year now because of what had happened. I’m totally fucked man. [groaning] …Oh, I’m totally fucked. I can’t go back to fucking prison! They have all of our phone messages for the past month and a half…” Tune in next week!

My record this season 11-3. -MIKE SERGE

This column is intended for entertainment purposes only. City Paper does not encourage sports betting.