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Well, the Gamecocks have flushed another season. How can I relate how painful this season has been for me? I can think of few things… like winning a free teeth drilling at my local dentist office or being forced to sneeze with my eyeballs wide open. It’s impossible (kind of like us winning an SEC championship). How long are we going to keep hope alive? A true Gamecocks catch phrase, “Wait till next year, next year is our year.” I’m wondering if that year will ever come. Let’s be honest, we have had two legendary football coaches come in and try to turn our program into a national champion. I’m now beginning to think that Gamecock nation is where coaches go to die. After the loss to Arkansas I lost all strength to move, so much so that I couldn’t even bring myself to use the TV remote and ended up suffering through 12 hours of the Hallmark channel.

I need another mediocre season from the Gamecocks, like I need another hemorrhoid. I mean if its gonna take jacking our skilled players up with steroids and asking our offensive line to eat eighteen acres of pizza a day then I’m all for it. If we lose this week to Florida, I’m drowning myself in alcohol, getting into my car, slamming on the gas pedal and shouting “Jesus, take the wheel!” As you can probably tell I’m not taking the Gamecocks this week and for that matter for the rest of the year. They’re typically a frightful team to place bets on anyway. They will make you consume lead paint. My big game of the week:

Michigan at Wisconsin

Michigan favored by 2.5

Michigan is back on track after suffering one of the most humiliating defeats in college football history. Which is looking more and more like a fluke and really comes down to Michigan overlooking that game against the hillbillies from Appalachian State. I plan to make the Wolverines my big play for the week.

Some other games to look at are West Virginia giving up 16 against Louisville and Georgia giving up a point against Auburn. I’m taking West Virginia and a country road to take me home. West Virginia was voted the number one party school in the nation. And they’re the only state that’s the product of another state taking a dump. Trust me, look at a map. Georgia will handle Auburn nicely by a score of 24-10.

My record on picks this season 12-5.

-Mike Serge

This column is intended for entertainment purposes only. City Paper does not encourage sports betting.