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Deric Spoils The Movie SMOKIN’ ACES (2007)

SMOKIN’ ACES (2007) Aces isn’t the only thing the makers of this film were smokin’ Mob boss Primo Sparazza is one of the few remaining members of the Cosa Nostra with any real sway. Therefore, when he puts out a hit on one of his former protégés, Buddy ‘Aces’ Israel (Jeremy Piven), everyone is rushing for a piece of the action. The men Sparazza hired are after him for his heart, the FBI wants him for his testimony, other mafiosos want to ransom him, a bail bondsman wants to bring him in, and a ragtag bunch of competing assassins all want the one million dollar bounty placed on Aces. Enter Richard Messner (Ryan Reynolds) and Donald Carruthers (Ray Liotta), starring as two FBI agents trying to reach Aces before the assassins can, per the orders of their director (played by Andy Garcia.) Rounding out the motley crew of hitmen are Pasqual Acosta (demented and ruthless), Soot (a master of disguise), The Tremor Brothers (psychotic Neo-nazis), Georgia Sykes and Sharice Watters (two lesbian hitwomen), and Jack Dupree and his associates (former cops now working as bondsmen). From here out the movie spins into oblivion as The Tremor Brothers kill Dupree and his bondsmen, Acosta kills Carruthers, then shoots Sykes, Watters kills a bunch of cops (believing Sykes dead), Soot kills Ace’s bodyguard, The Tremors kill a slew of people with two of them dying, Carruthers isn’t really dead but then really dies, and then Dupree’s buddy who we thought died, yet didn’t really, comes back and kills the remaining Tremor. Still with me? Good. Now for the spoiler to end all spoilers! (I wish!) It is revealed that Primo Sparazzo is really an FBI mole who was implanted in the mob years before. When it was believed he had flipped, the FBI took him out. In reality, he didn’t die, and assumed his fake persona as a real identity. Buddy Aces Israel is Sparazzo’s son, and he wants his son’s heart for a transplant to keep him alive since his own is failing. The FBI feels that this transplant is beneficial to their knowledge, and the director seeks to make it happen behind the backs of Agents Messner and Carruthers. Aghast with the FBI director’s disregard for the life of his partner and all the other officers killed, Messner enters the transplant room, locks the door, and pulls the plug on Aces and Sparazzo, killing them both. Yeah, it’s CRAZY. Now here’s the rub… Smokin’ Aces is a pathetic attempt to recreate the style and feel of such hits as Jackie Brown and Pulp Fiction. Stylized, yes, but in an incoherent fashion. Ben Affleck shouldn’t even be considered a star in this film as he is killed off within the first 20 minutes. The entire intro of the movie is spent explaining so many different characters that the viewer is immediately pummeled with information overload, and for what? What is billed as a comedic action flick essentially becomes one giant clusterf–k of a mangled plotline, excessive characters, and a mish-mash of direction styles. Ryan Reynolds shows promise as a leading man in a non-comedic role, yet this film reveals that he’s not quite grown up yet. Smokin’ Aces is a thoroughly dissatisfying movie experience as the film lacks the character and depth of any film that could be considered one of its contemporaries (of which there are few since it is so bad). Joe Carnahan, you are not Quentin Tarantino. This movie blows. Period. Smokin’ Aces (2007) starring Ben Affleck, Ray Liotta, Jeremy Piven, Ryan Reynolds, Andy Garcia and Alicia Keys is directed by Joe Carnahan and rated R for strong bloody violence, pervasive language, some nudity and drug use Opening in Wide Release This Week Hannibal Rising Synopsis: Silence of the Lambs; the beginning. Prediction: A Hanibal Lecter movie without Anthony Hopkins? OK, see it anyways. Norbit Synopsis: Starring Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy, and…Eddie Murphy. Prediction: Eddie Murphy at what he does best: fart and fat jokes. Also Playing This Week: Because I Said So X Synopsis: A sweet yet domineering mother is determined to find a husband for her youngest daughter. Verdict: You might as well rent Steel Magnolias and buy a box of Tampax while you’re at it…seriously. Blood and Chocolate X Synopsis: Werewolves fall in love, too! Verdict: Didn’t you hear? Werewolves are the new vampires this year. Catch and Release X Synopsis: Jennifer Garner in the feel good event of the year! 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