February 27 11:36 PM
Letters to the reader
Dear South Carolina legislators with guns, We’re still not entirely sure why you’d need a pistol in the State House chambers. From whom do you need protection? Your unemployed, pollution-choked constituents? Maybe it’s your not-so-subtle way to keep Sanford in line? Imagine an elderly statesman from the Pee Dee or Lowcountry squeezing off a denture-rattling warning shot from a .357 Magnum he can barely lift, House toupees jerked sideways from the blast and a smoking bullet hole in the molding above the podium, at the mere motion to give those black kids more money for their schools along the I-95 corridor. Cut a pork barrel project or two and we’d have the OK Corral on our hands. And remember when Lt. Gov. Jim Tillman shot and killed the editor of the State newspaper back in 1903 over an editorial? …Woah. Hey Bauer, no hard feelings about those airplane crash jokes we made, right?
Columbia City Paper
Dear abstinence-only sex education, A budget measure that would have prevented money going to abstinence-only and medically inaccurate sex education in public schools was recently shot down. I wonder what those creepy people who spend their days shouting outside abortion clinics think of the abstinence-only sex ed proponents who hang around the State House like, well, like a creepy person standing out front of a clinic. Are they upset that it will likely raise STD and abortion rates as kids are no longer taught about contraception or are they happy that it will raise abortion rates so they can continue to harangue traffic with disgusting posters of fetuses?
Well, that’s beside the point. Come to think of it, maybe this method of not teaching teens about sex is a good thing. Most of us here at City Paper learned about sex through crude drawings on bathroom stalls and look how we turned out.
Columbia City Paper
Dear S.C. Progressive Network,
Word on the street is Bret Bursey may have his case reopened for that time he was arrested at the Columbia Metropolitan Airport. Good luck with that, guys. And be sure to send the Main St. media, uh i mean mainstream media a press release.
Columbia City Paper
Dear Beloved Shopping Village,
For those who received the “City Paper Insider” email newsletter last week, we hinted at an upcoming editorial about the S.C. Dept. of Revenue auditing the Five Points Association. The author also planned to reiterate points made in previous City Paper and State newspaper exposes that raised questions about the ethicality of certain association members and their associates receiving tens of thousands of dollars in “commission” payments for the volunteer, tax payer-funded St. Patrick’s Day event. There were to be some great lines, too, about the blatant, almost bragging, violations of antitrust law the association and its media and corporate cohorts continue to visit upon this publication.
But, in the spirit of goodwill, we have decided to hold that editorial. A developing thread in the FPA saga, we believe, shows a few in the association who are genuinly working to clean things up in a “funky” and “eclectic” shopping village otherwise torn asunder by a handful of corporate interests and small business owners who have gotten too big for their britches. Another scathing editorial may only deepen that divide.
Columbia City Paper
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